Pulp Fiction: Anime Edition
by Jack Rabbit Slims
Summary: Pulp Fiction with anime characters in honor of Quentin Tarantino.
1. Chapter 1

PULP FICTION: Anime Edition

Rated 'R' for strong violence, and sexuality

A/N: I'm back with this little piece and I apologize for my absence.

The anime characters in this story are:

Vash

Alucard

Inuyasha

Spike

Jet

Faye

Kagome

Seras

Miroku

Sango

Nicholas

Ed

Alphonse

Pulp (pulp) n. 1. A soft moist shapeless mass or matter.

2. A book or magazine containing lurid subject manner and being characteristically printed on rough, unfurnished paper.

Prologue

A young man and woman sit at a small table in a small restaurant silently arguing as they sip their coffee.

'Forget it! Too risky I ain't doin that.' The man said.

'You know you always say that every time: never again and do you know what you sound like?' the woman said.

'A sensible man!'

'You sound like a duck! Quack, quack, quack!' she chuckled.

'Well, don't worry because you'll never hear any quacking from me again because I'm never doing this again never again!' the man whispered taking another sip of coffee.

A waitress suddenly came over carrying a black pot.

'Anymore coffee?' she asked with a smile.

'Yes, please thank you.' The woman said looking up.

The waitress filled up her cup and walked away.

'I mean it's just as big a risk as robbing a bank! Actually more of a risk because banks are easier. Like this one time I heard that a man came to a bank and held up a portable phone to the freakin' cashier and said that if he didn't empty the vault, they'd kill a little girl on the other line!' the man almost shouted.

'And it worked?' the girl asked.

'Oh yeah! I mean a guy just walks in no shotgun, no pistol, a phone! And he never lifts a finger!'

'And the little girl?'

'Probably wasn't a little girl, but the point is not the girl it's that someone robbed a bank with a cellphone!'

'You want to rob banks?'

'No, I'm just illustrating that it would be easier than what were doing now.'

'So, no more liquor stores?'

'What have I been saying? Of course no more liquor stores! They're not as fun as they used to be anyway. Too many foreigners who can't even speak freaking English! You tell them to empty the register and they can't understand so you kill 'em!'

'I don't want to kill anybody.'

'I know you I don't me either but they'll probably put us in that position.'

'Well, what? Day jobs then?'

The man laughed.

'Well what then?'

'GARCON! Coffee!' the man said raising his cup.

He then lowered it and looked back to the woman.

'Here.'

The waitress from before returned and poured with a look.

'Garcon means boy.' She said stomping off.

'A coffee shop?' the girl said surprised.

'Why not? No one would expect it right? Catch them with their pants down.'

'And no hero factor right?' the girl said smiling.

'Absolutely because who here really gives a crap about this place? The Manager forget it! He only cares about you plugging the diners! I mean really one minute people are eating an omelet next they got a gun in their face!'

The girl looked in closer with interest.

'See, I got the idea from the last robbery you know how you took everyone's wallets?'

'Yeah.'

'That was very clever.'

'Thank you.'

'Lot of people in restaurants.'

'Lot of wallets.'

'Pretty smart huh?'

'Pretty smart!' she said sensually.

'I'm ready right here right now let's do it!' she said getting up.

'Alright, you handle the crowd I do the rest.'

The couple then began to kiss passionately.

'I love you Faye.' The man said.

'I love you Nicholas.' Faye said.

The two then jumped up with revolvers in their hands.

'This is a robbery!'

PULP FICTION: anime edition

A/N: tell me what you think and thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Pulp Fiction: Anime Style

A/N: Thank you for your reviews and I'm happy to let you know that I'll have more Tarantino stories coming soon.

Warning: this chapter contains strong language

Our story continues on two men inside their car:

'Okay now, tell me about the hash bars.' The man at the wheel said.

'Well, what do you want to know?' the other man asked.

'Well, is it legal there?'

'Well, not a hundred percent.'

'What do you mean?'

'Like, you can't just go anywhere you please and light up you have to do it within a designated area.' The passenger said smiling.

'Hash bars right?'

'Hash bars or your home so, it basically breaks down like this:

It's legal to buy it, sell it, and if you're the proprietor of a hash bar it's legal to sell it, it's legal to carry it but get this- if you get stopped by the cops it's illegal for them to search you that's a right those assholes don't have.'

'That's it I'm fuckin' going man!' the driver said laughing.

'You'd dig it the most my man but do you know what the weirdest thing about Europe is?'

'What is that?'

'I mean, they got the same shit they got here but it's just the little differences.'

'Such as?'

'Well at the theater in Amsterdam you can buy a beer and I don't mean a little cup I mean a glass of beer and in Amsterdam you can buy a beer at McDonalds. And do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?'

'What?'

'A Royale with Cheese.'

'They don't call it a Quarter Pounder?'

'They don't know what the fuck a quarter is in France.'

'Royale with cheese ha-ha so what do they call a BigMac?'

'BigMac is a BigMac but they call it Le BigMac.'

The driver laughed heartily.

'What do they call a Whopper?'

'Didn't go to Burger King but, do you know what they put on fries in Holland instead of ketchup?'

'What?'

'Mayonnaise'

'Shit!' the driver said disgusted.

'I'm serious man they drown 'em in that shit.'

'Damn.' The driver muttered.

They suddenly stopped at a small apartment building and the two men Edward and Alphonse went for their trunk.

As they opened the trunk they looked morbid.

'We should have shotguns for this kind of deal.' Ed said.

'How many are up there?' Al asked grabbing a .45 from the trunk.

As Ed grabbed another .45 he answered.

'Three or four.'

'Is that counting our guy?'

'Not sure.'

'Man, we should have fucking shotguns for this.'

They slammed on the trunk door and headed into the building.

Al looked at Ed as they walked.

'What's her name?' Ed asked.

'Kagome.'

'How did Inuyasha and her meet?'

'However people meet, she used to be an actress.'

'She'd been in anything I'd have seen?' Ed asked.

'I think the biggest thing was a pilot.'

'What's that?'

'Well, you know the shows on TV?' Al asked.

'Don't watch TV.'

'Well you do know of this invention called television and on this invention they show shows right?'

'Yeah.'

'Well, they have these things called pilots and they show these to people to see how well they'd do and then some become television programs and the rest become nothing she was in one of the ones that became nothing.'

They opened the door to the cool hallway of the apartment building and entered.

'You remember that one guy they usta call Tony Rocky Horror?'

'Yeah.'

'Well, Inuyasha did him in good and the rumors are because of Kagome.'

'What did he do screw her?' Ed asked as they entered an elevator.

'No, nothing like that.'

'Well, what then?'

'He gave her a foot massage.'

Ed snickered.

'That's all?'

Al nodded his head yes.

'Well, what did Inuyasha do?'

'Sent over a couple of guys and threw his ass through a window ever since he kind of developed a speech impediment.'

'Shame.' Ed said.

'Still, you shouldn't play with matches.'

'You don't think that he overreacted?'

'Well, I'm sure he didn't expect that reaction but he had to expect a reaction.'

'A foot massage is nothing.'

'It just seems like nothing but there is a sensuous thing going on even if you don't talk about it and Inuyasha knew and Tony should've known better.'

'I'm still saying that it's nothing.'

'You give foot massages?'

'Yeah! Don't tickle or nothing.'

'Would you give a man a foot massage?'

'Screw you.'

'You give a lot of 'em?'

'Screw you!'

'You know, I could use a foot massage.'

'Back off now you're startin' to piss me off now, this is it.'

They stood ready to enter when Al looked at his watch.

'Isn't quite time let's hang back.'

'So, what does Kagome like to do?'

'Why do you want to know so much about the bosses' wife?'

'Inuyasha has asked me to take her out tonight.'

'Take her out?' Al asked making his hand into a gun.

'No, nothing like that just show her a good time.'

'You're going to be taking her out on a date?'

'No nothing like that Inuyasha just wants to make sure she doesn't get bored that's all…it's not a date…'

They finally entered the room to see three young demons eating some fast food.

'Hey kids.' Al said as he approached one of the demons.

'How you boys doin'?'

No answer.

'Do we know who we are?' Al asked the demon sitting at the table.

The demon shook his head no.

'We are associates of your business partner Inuyasha you do remember your business partner don't you?'

Al suddenly pointed to the demon sitting.

'Brett right?'

Brett nodded.

'I thought so, you do remember your business partner?'

'Yes.' Brett muttered.

'Good, we're sorry for coming by while you were having breakfast whatya havin'?'

'Hamburgers.' Brett muttered.

'Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast what kind of hamburgers?'

'Cheeseburgers.'

'No where did you get them? McDonald's Wendy's where?'

'Big Kahuna Burger.'

'I hear they got some tasty burgers you mind if I try one?'

'No.'

Al took the burger from the table and took a large bite as he stared at Brett with a glare.

'Mhmmm that is a tasty burger! Edward! You ever eat these burgers before?'

Ed nodded no.

'Wanna try one?'

'I ain't hungry.'

'Well you gotta try one later then.'

Al threw the burger on the table.

'What's this?'

'Sprite.' Brett said.

'Mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down with?'

'Go right ahead.'

Al the sucked the sprite dry and dropped it on the table as well.

'Refreshing yo my man.' Al said now turning to the demon lying on the couch.

'You know why were here? Why don't you tell my friend where you got the shit hid.'

'Over there.' A demon in the corner blurted.

'I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING!'

There was then a long silence.

'You were saying?' Al said calmly.

'Over there.' The demon whispered.

Ed saw where he was looking and searched until he discovered a large briefcase and opened it.

'We happy?' Al asked.

'Ed! We happy?'

'We happy.'

He slammed the case shut.

'Um…I just want to say that I'm sorry that things got so bad with us and Inuyasha we got into this with the best intentions really and…' suddenly Brett shut up as Al unloaded three bullets into the demon on the couch.

'Oh! I'm sorry did I break your concentration?'

'Please continue…oh! You were finished! Well, allow me to retort…' Al suddenly got as close as a man can get to somebody.

'What does Inuyasha look like?'

'What?' Brett asked.

'DESCRIBE TO ME WHAT INUYAHSA LOOKS LIKE!' Al said smashing the table and knocking Brett off his chair.

'What!' Brett said panicking.

'Does he look like a bitch?'

'What?'

BLAM! Al blew the demons arm clean off.

'Does he look like a bitch!'

'NO!'

'Then why are you trying to screw him like one!'

'No, I didn't.'

'Yes you did!'

Brett cowers and looks as if he'll go into shock any second as his arm lays on the floor.

'You read the Bible?'

'Yes.'

'There's a passage I use frequently Ezekiel 25:17:

"The path of the righteous man is beset by all of the inequities of the selfish and tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of Charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly my brother's keeper. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon thee."'

Al and Ed suddenly unloaded shot after shot into the demon until a mass of bloody flesh remained and collapsed to the floor.

A/N: R&R


End file.
